I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
