You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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