So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
