She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
