id be glad to
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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