The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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