She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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