Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
