3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Go christen that room with your naked body.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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