Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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