Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
