So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
