White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Randomize
