I wanna bring you to show and tell
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
