i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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