complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
