If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
