so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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