I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Randomize
