I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
