Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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