I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
