Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
