She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
im drinking this country out of the recession.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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