I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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