well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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