found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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