Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
