im gay
i know
yea but for you.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I need a beard to bite.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
