I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize