how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize