he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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