i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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