ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
