he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
And then my night got REAL pukey
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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