her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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