They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
