I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Randomize
