is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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