Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
