i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
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