My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
found the other keg... it's in the tree
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
