I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
tell me about the fingering
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