I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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