Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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