I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
