dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
