pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Randomize
