Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
