South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
