Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
