you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
