I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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