i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
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