Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
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