no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Randomize
