The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Randomize
