I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
