Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I accidentally had phone sex last night
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize
